Getting Rejected When Cold Approaching Women Is Normal

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Today I will be revealing a big secret that the majority of seduction gurus try to hide from you:

A LARGE PORTION OF YOUR APPROACHES WILL END UP IN *REJECTION!

You see everyone who starts learning game has a pie chart made up of 3 categories of women. The categories are the Yes, No, and Maybe women. Depending on your race, height, looks, physique, age, charisma, and appearance your percentages in each category will either be higher or lower than other guys around you (another secret most seduction gurus will never tell you is that being good looking and tall will improve your odds a bit). 

For the sake of simplicity, let's say you are an average guy all around. Well your percentages would be somewhere around 10% Yes girls, 30% Neutral girls, and 60% No girls (these numbers are a guesstimates based on guys I've taught). 

But this is the pie chart at the BEGINNING of your journey, not at the end. You see, when you are a newbie, you will make all sorts of mistakes. You will approach nervously, your body language will be bad, you will fidget, your voice will crack, you will say dumb things, etc. And all of these factors will lead to you creeping out the girls or them ending their interaction with you. 

Each approach, regardless of how it goes will help you get better. Each approach will help you improve not only your confidence but also how you are coming across - aka your seduction attributes.

After a few thousand approaches, your pie chart will change. The percentage of Yes girls will increase, so will the Neutral girls, and the No girls will decrease. How much will depend on how much your game has improved. 

*Rejection = By rejection, I don't mean that the woman will tell you to "F#&k off" or slap you. That almost never happens. What I mean is that she ignores you, finds some way to end the interaction, refuses to give you her contact info (or gives fake info), or tells you she has a boyfriend.

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Transcript

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Welcome to the Dating Architect Podcast the number one balls to the wall. Zero B s podcast for men who want to date the kind of hot girls that'll make other men jealous. Get all your exes raging mad. Join us. Let us help you build your ideal dating life. Hey, it's Jack! And today I wanted to talk about rejection. Now, this is a very important subject because a lot of guys avoid going out and approaching girls because they fear rejection. But I wanted to cover this topic today to tell you that rejection is perfectly normal. So no matter how good your game is and I've been doing the seduction community for about 18 years now, no matter what you learn, there's nothing, absolutely nothing that will help you avoid rejection. OK, even a guy with very good game, we'll get rejected. A lot of people don't know because the seduction grew. Say you should minimise rejection. But the truth of matter is you're gonna get rejected no matter what you do. So the best thing to do is to accept it. Around 50 to 60% of girls you meet will reject you, and that's even if you have good games. So even if your game is great, even if you've been at this for years and years, you're still gonna get around 50 to 60% of girls that just reject you. And like I said before, rejection doesn't necessarily mean they're gonna be way rude to you. Like to tell you to fuck off or they're going to slap you or throw a drink in your face or something. That rejection just means they're either gonna ignore you. They're going to say they have a boyfriend. They're going to say they're busy, not interested. They're gonna walk away faster, basically, or they're not gonna give you their number. Maybe even if they're really nice to you. Unpleasant. Hey, Butts exchange numbers. She'll say no. So anything that you know where the girl doesn't give you the number is basically a rejection. It's gonna happen. Go up to the girls you want to go up to. Rejection is gonna happen no matter what. It's just part of the game and a lot of guys try Thio do whatever they can to avoid it because it'll make him feel bad or because they they just don't want a girl telling them You're not worried the year that's that's what's in their head. But you shouldn't see rejection that way. You should see it. It's something that comes along with just about any anything. Don't worry about the rejections because you can't pull off. You know all these perfect approaches that all these seduction grooves are saying and they're selling all these bullshit systems that say, If you buy my system, you're not gonna get rejected. It's not true. I've tried everything under the sun, believe me, been there wanting to avoid rejection. And there's no magic bullet. There's no system. There's no boot camp. There's absolutely nothing that will help you avoid rejection. You should just learn to accept it as part of the game. And it's very, very, very, very rare that a girl will have some kind of very bad negative response. I think the worst I've ever gotten is fuck off. Maybe you'll get called a creep or something, but that's like very freaking rare. Like I said. So if you approach 30 girls, you'll typically with good game so you're not a newbie, you're not just starting out or, you know, maybe I would say you have to be a little more advanced. You typically get 10 to 15 numbers, and if your approach is or really hard court, you'll get less numbers by hard core. I mean, you're making these approaches that have very little chance of success. So let's say you're going up to a girl that's out with her mom and you approach her. No, the girl will feel kind of, like weird about it because she's in front of her mom. And even if she likes you, the chance of that approach going down with you getting her number, something is low. I'm not saying you can't do it, and you should still take that approach because you might not see that girl again. And I've had approaches where I went up to the girl and her mom was there and her mom was very happy for the girl. But you're gonna have approaches where the girl is just gonna be like, This is my mom. She's gonna kind of weird. It's gonna be kind of awkward, so you'll go on and practice somebody else, but yeah, that's just if you take hard core approaches, your percentages will be even lower. So if you're just not taking the easy approaches like a girl is sitting by yourself, that would be a really easy approach. Ah, hardcore approach would be of grow is with her four friends at a cafe and they're sitting down and you're coming in off the street. That's gonna be a hard core approach, because not only are friends there, but, you know, everybody in that cafe starts to look at you as soon as you talk because you're standing up talking to a table and it's just gonna make it that much more awkward and you'll feel more of the social pressure. She's gonna feel a lot of the social pressure. And this is where girls will typically be like, Oh, I have a boyfriend. Or maybe one of her friends intercedes. Sometimes, though, what's great is the girl will say no, this is This is good. This is okay. I want to talk to this guy. But like I said, low probability, Should you still do it? Yeah, especially if you live in a big city and the chances of you seeing that girl are zero. You shouldn't care. That's the great thing about this. It'll teach you not to care. And I want to make a comparison here. The first very first approach I did. It was before I knew anything about the community. I was in high school and I was just such a freaking worse. I was such a dweeb, but I was a senior in high school and I would pass by this section where there was this really super cute girl, super cute. And she was a freshman and she would look at me kind of checking me out every day for about three weeks, up until I summoned the courage to go up and talk to her. And I just kept imagining all these scenarios in my head, like crush and burn scenarios like I'm gonna go up to her. She's so cute. I'm gonna say something stupid. She's gonna reject me. And yeah, it was the dumbest thing ever because finally, I did approach her and went very well. And even though I was sweating profusely and I had my stomach, just not it up and I was in pain, I don't know why I was very nervous. My voice cracked several times as I was talking to her said, Hey, do you want to maybe get yeah and, you know, go to a movie. And then my voice cracked again. It was really crazy, but I went out and I got her number, and we actually did end up going on a date. I fumbled it. No worries, but at least I approached her. And this is the point I want to make. Sometimes you'll have a girl that you really, really, really like, and you just don't make on approach and then you'll definitely regret it. I regret some approaches I didn't make, and I don't regret the ones I did make because I approached. There was nothing more I can do. And you know, there is a bit of randomness to this. The girl will also decide if she wants to talk to you or not. So as long as you make the approach, that's what's important. You know it's what happens afterwards, not that important. But it is important that you make that approach and I see that not just because it's important for that particular girl, but it will give you the confidence for future girls that you talked to her future women. And sometimes let's say you do see your blueprint, girl. One day, like the girl looks exactly as you like her. Look, she has exactly the her color. Exactly. That Look exactly the body that you like. Well, you should go up on approach her because you never know. And a lot of times those girls will be very receptive to you. You just won't know because you're not approaching, so definitely approach it. Like if I told you Hey, you can have that girl. If you approach 30 other girls, how quickly would you make those approaches? How quickly would you get the nose out of the way? Very quickly. Right? Because you know that if you get 29 knows you'll get one. Yes, and that will be the girl that you really like. That looks exactly like you would like her too. You're not gonna be liked by every girl you approach. Just like if 100 girls came up to you and approached you, you're not gonna like every one of those girls. Your old probably reject over half of them. So it's the same thing now, The reason rejection is a good thing is because you're not compatible with everyone you meet. So not all the girls you meet are gonna be perfect for you, or you're gonna get along with its normal. If you go up to 100 girls, you're not gonna be compatible with all of them. A lot of them are going to reject you, and that's fine. I believe that rejection forges you into someone who is better. So just like a sword, Smith takes that smoldering iron or steel out of the forge and begins hitting it with that hammer over and over and over and forging it into a beautiful sword. That's the same thing rejection does for your character. Every hammer is like a rejection, and it stings. At first. It really stings because you're putting a lot of your self worth. You believe that that person rejecting you has a direct impact on your self worth, and that's not true at all. That person doesn't know you're a girl, doesn't know who you are. She's basically acting on her instincts off being receptive to a man approaching her, and a lot of times not all the time. But a lot of times I think it has to do with our own headspace or where she's at emotionally in that moment, because let's say you approached a girl on Monday and she's just sitting on a park bench. She may be very receptive, but then you go to approach that same girl on a Friday when she's just getting out of work and she's rushed to get on our way home. For whatever reason, if you try to approach that same girl, she's not gonna accept your approach. She's gonna reject you. So a lot of the times it doesn't have to do with you directly. It can. I mean, how you're coming across also effects what the girl things. But guys put a lot of pressure on themselves, and they judge themselves too harshly just because some girl rejected him. It's not your game that's always have full. It's like about the half time. It's just how the girl is feeling the other half, maybe your game or how you're coming across. But a lot of the times is just how she's feeling in that particular moment. Maybe her cat died. Maybe her boyfriend just broke up with her. Maybe she had a bad argument with one of her best friends. You never know, so you never know what state she's in mentally. All right, so getting back to my analogy, I think the more challenges you go through, the more obstacles you go through. The more rejections you go through, the better you will become a za person because you'll stop caring what people think. That's a big one. You'll stop giving a shit what the people around you think. What girls think all that will become important is what you think of yourself, and you'll start getting to know yourself better. So I think that's a really, really great thing that is very rare for for for men. A lot of men don't know themselves, and you will know what you're willing to accept, what kind of behavior you're willing to accept from women, what kind of behavior not willing to accept from women, and that'll just helped forge you as a man. You'll just become more masculine. Maur present and I think more powerful. The other thing about rejection is the more rejection you undergo, the more confident you will become because you won't give a shit anymore. You won't care that a girl rejects you. So a lot of guys were very, very in their heads. When they go up to a girl because they're thinking I don't want this girl to reject me. I really care what she thinks. She's really beautiful, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You don't want to go back. You want to go, like, in like, yeah, she can reject me. I'm totally cool with that. I know why I am. Her opinion doesn't matter. I'm gonna go up to her. I'm gonna tell her. I think she's attractive. I'm gonna have a small conversation with her. And if she doesn't want to give me your number, whatever. It's not a big deal. And that's how I should go in Because like I said, Ah, lot of these girls will reject you. They won't care who you are. They maybe have a boyfriend or a fuck buddy or they're not really interested men right now or they're focusing on their career. It's impossible to tell. All you can do is approach women and basically try to find out who will be accepting of your approach and who won't be. And everything else just really doesn't matter. The other great thing about accepting rejection and getting rejected by women is it will also transfer into other areas of your life. For example, I run a digital marketing agency. And just because I go upto women and accept the fact that some will reject me and a few will like me and a few few will really like me. Well, I'm willing to accept that same fact and take that same amount of confidence going in and asking business owners if they need someone to help them market their service is and bring them new clients. And just like I know, a lot of girls reject me. I know even more business owners reject me when I asked them if they need help promoting their businesses, because I know a lot of them are bombarded by other digital marketing agencies, and I know it'll be harder to get a chance to even speak with them. So I know rejection is just part of the process, or they'll ignore me and not respond to any of my e mails or phone calls or, you know, direct response letters. But every rejection, like I said, we'll make you stronger whether you get it in business or whether it's in your dating life, you just will stop caring. Now you have to do a lot of approaches. This is over time. You have to do probably a few 1000 to even feel like, but you're getting somewhere. I'm also gonna have a podcast out soon, probably within the next month. That has a similar subject matter. But I'm gonna expand in it way more, and it's called The Easy Way out. Makes you weak. It's gonna be on bus Sprout, and I'm trying to get it on iTunes as well, so just look for it. I'll try to link to it in the description. All right, so that's today's podcast. I'm just gonna finish it off here. If you have any questions, hit me up on facebook dot com slash dating architect. Be sure to visit the dating architect dot com website. There's a lot of great blogger articles on there, a lot of stuff I've learned, and it's absolutely free. So be sure to check that out, and I look forward to seeing you on the next podcast